For as long as I can remember simple things have been extremely overwhelming for me. I remember as a child freaking out as I was loading the dishwasher because my mom was stacking them “too fast”. Her rinsing them and sticking them in the sink for me load at my own rate was too much for me to handle. Being told to even pick out my clothes or clean my room was overwhelming for me and I did not know where to begin which would lead to a breakdown.
Junior high was extremely difficult for me. It got so bad at one point I just wanted to give up… just be done feeling this way… but through a totally unrelated medical issue I was prescribed an antidepressant when I was 16 and although that issue was not affected by the medication like they had hoped it made a huge difference in my day to day life.
I still struggle from time to time where simple tasks are overwhelming and I just don’t know where to start so I numb my mind with tv or I sleep a lot just to not have to feel or think, but I have so many more good days than bad.
I have now been medicated for my mental health for over half my life. There was a time in college where I just didn’t want to take it anymore and I was “fine” so I quit on my own. I crashed… hard… Thankfully my mom recognized the signs and got me help right away.
I encourage everyone to ask for help. Find that one person that you can share your heart with. Even the ugly stuff. And when you are in that place where you have no words to even describe how you are feeling… hold on…don’t give up… Never give up. You are needed, you are loved, and it will get better. 💙