I would love to say that my struggle with mental health came out of nowhere. It didn’t. I spent my childhood abused in every way imaginable. As an adult, I don’t really remember being a kid. Faint snippets.
Last year I started developing physical signs of wear on my body. I have a family history of hypothyroidism, so I knew that had to be it. I’ve always had depression and anxiety that were undiagnosed. At my appointment, I was treated for my mental health issues. I was floored. Turns out, I do have hashimotos disease and hypothyroidism. It seems like my physical ailments threw my disorders into hyper drive. My brain was so foggy from my thyroid that I could no longer hide from the fact that I am sick.
I met with a psychiatrist for the first time 2 weeks ago. She diagnosed me with ADHD, OCD, GAD, MDD, and PTSD. Again, I was shocked. We agreed that the antidepressant I was on was not working, so I stopped taking it since I had already weaned myself down and was on such a low dose. She prescribed me adderall. It scared me to death. I decided that I needed to trust her. It’s already changed my life. Now I know how my life could’ve been all along. How many things I thought were normal, that truly weren’t. I went through a hard grieving process. But now I’m able to see so much more clearly. I see her again in a few days, and we’ll discuss my options with an antidepressant. I will eventually get into therapy so I can soothe my inner child.
This isn’t the end of the road for me, and that’s okay. This is the start of my journey that I am so thrilled to be taking. It’s given me the chance to stand up for myself, and those suffering alone. We’re not alone.