I had been dealing with GAD since 4th and depression since 5th. I was bullied a lot in elementary and middle school. High school started and I was so ready for a fresh new start, not knowing the horrific end that year would bring. At first I made new friends and felt happy for the first time in a long time. Through the year my friends began to stop talking to me one by one. I got cheated on, had 4 friends try to kill themselves, had a boy leave me for my friend who also left me, failed math, family started to ignore me again, and worst of all my best friend chose to kill himself (at the time when I only had 2 friends left). 10th grade, my best friend, my only real friend, pulled the trigger on the gun he told me was for emergencies only and lied to me that he would come over. After all of this, I began cutting myself to escape the pain in my head. I got hooked on pain killers and lost myself, and my other friend. I was alone again. My parents saw my cuts, talked to me once and pretend nothing happened and nothing is wrong with me. I then got issues with my physical health and mental health worsened. I’ve been able to steer away from some things and have worked a lot harder. My family constantly yells at me, mocks me, and mentally abuses me (my new friends told me this isn’t normal or okay). I used to get hit as a kid. I have really bad trust issues and still hurt myself. I had a bad relapse this week and last week where I cut up my chest, legs and arms where no one could see. I can’t tell my parents because they won’t understand: they will only be disappointed and upset with me (I know because that’s what happened last time). I finally kind of got to my feet again and then corona hit. Now I can’t see my 3 friends and one is moving away and won’t reply to me anymore. I’m told I’m strong. Sure, okay, i’m strong. But I’m tired. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going and living like this; and I’m only 16….

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