10 days ago I found out how badly my marriage was broken, my husband has been having an online affair. After a couple of years it became physical. I found out accidentally. It shattered both of us. I am trying to exist in a new world, trying to understand why my feelings are in chaos, a maelstrom of emotions beating against my already fragile mental health. It is so fresh, from one day to the next, one epiphany to the next I’m fighting to breathe what feels like a last breath. When you are experiencing something terrible the most common thing said to you is ‘it will get better with time’ it’s a great sentiment and true, but it does nothing for the here and now. The future holds no meaning when your blood is draining onto the floor.