*self harm trigger warning* when I was 11 or 12 I discovered that cutting myself seemed to make me feel better when I was upset. My pattern of self harming continued until college when I mentally broke and spent 2 years recovering and rebuilding. During that time I learned coping strategies and essential self care and self awareness. I have ‘relapsed’ very few times in the decade since. Recently I asked myself why I self harmed in that way and realized I’d never questioned it before. I cut when the emotional pain becomes literally unbearable. It transfers some of the mental anguish to physical pain because physical pain is far far easier to cope with. This act allowed my mind to back down from the edge. I’m no longer angry at myself for my scars because each one is proof of a battle I won.